My first blog is going to be dedicated to a dear friend who finds herself in an odd perdicament. I would like to get your feed back on whether you think divorced spouses should spend their Holidays together or if they should have 2 seperate ones.
My parents have been divorced for many years. They actually still get along well, have attend weddings and funerals for mutual friends without incident. My step mom and my mom even get along, and while they are not the best of friends they can be at a function together and even chat without problems. However, we do NOT celebrate Thanksgiving or Christmas as one big happy family.
My friend was married for many years and raised 3 children, all of which are grown. Two of them have children of their own. About 3 years ago her husband of 20+ years decided he didn't want to be married anymore and asked for a divorce. My friend was devastated to say the least. While the marriage was not perfect she had spent her entire life raising the family. The divorce was final in 2010.
Last year and again this year, her kids believe they should have 1 Thanksgiving dinner and 1 Christmas Dinner. They expect their mother to attend the respective dinner along with her boyfriend and spend it with her exhusband, his new girlfriend, her children and of course their grown children and grand children. This year the exhusband wants to host Thanksgiving dinner at his house (the house my friend and him shared together but he now shares with his new girlfriend) She has been told to "show up, shut up, and act like an adult."
I have a problem with this. I was there when he broke her heart and crushed her spirit. I was there to hug her and hand her kleenex when she cried. I watched her slowly rebuild her self esteem, her confidence and basically her life. How can her children act like nothing happened. How can they be so selfish to not think about how this life changing event changed their mother's life. How can they be so selfish to not consider their mother's feelings. They never tell their dad no and they never ask him to compromise however they expect their mother who did not want the divorce to make all the sacrafices and comprimises.
I am offended by how they treat her and would like to know if I am alone in my thoughts.
I totally agree with you! It is totally unacceptable that her own children are treating her this way. She raised her kids and now they have families of their own. She did her part. Her and new boyfriend should be in Aruba (or somewhere equally as exotic and far away). No one should be miserable on the holidays. Never should she be told to "show up, shut up, and act like an adult."
ReplyDeleteOh Ro, I have a LOT to say on this matter. Her children are being atrocious BRATS! They need to get a dose of reality and to shut up and act like adults themselves. How dare they expect her to be okay with going back into the house where they raised their family until he decided he didn't want to anymore! If they want her to join the entire family, then they need to respect her and tell their dad they can do it at a "neutral" location. (like one of their houses. not the one that holds all the memories especially the painful ones.)
ReplyDelete